Our Story (Or, How I Met and Married a Crossdresser)!
I met my husband through a personal ad on AOL. He was quite clear in explaining that he was a man who considered himself to be transgendered. But, he also said that he was sensitive, kind, caring, patient, and loving. I wrote to him without even really thinking about what I was doing, or what being with a crossdresser would mean. I had no frame of reference for knowing anything about a heterosexual man who like to wear women's clothes. I knew about drag queens, I knew what it meant to be gay, or bi. I even knew about transsexuals, and the struggles they went through. What I didn't know about was transvestism, or crossdressing. We corresponded online, talked on the phone, then met in person.
The first time we met, 'she' arrived en femme. I didn't meet 'him', in his usual masculine persona and attire until the third time we were together. He wasn't very comfortable meeting women as a 'guy' then. (Well, he wasn't really comfortable meeting women at all, en femme or not. He had led a pretty isolated existence, not being involved much with women, primarily due to his being a crossdresser. It was very important to him to be honest with a woman about his true nature before being involved, and being the relatively shy fellow that he was, that was very difficult for him to accomplish.) Now, don't misunderstand--he only dressed on weekends for the most part. He got up and went to work every day, and lived his life as a regular guy. We lived over 2 hours away from each other when we were dating, though, and only saw each other on weekends. That meant that the crossdressing was a big part of our time together.
Once we got married, we were so very busy that the dressing took a back seat for a time. We had to sell his house, sell my house, buy a new house, and move everything out of all the houses and into the new one. We were so busy just trying to get used to being married (we had both been single for 40 years!), that there just wasn't much time for him to dress. Once he started dressing again, for a while I had a real problem dealing with it. This was a big shock to us both, as I had never had problems with the dressing before. With time, and patience, we worked things out, and I began to enjoy my time with 'her' as much as my time with 'him' again. I can't stress enough that there are several reasons I am as supportive of my husband's crossdressing as I am. First and foremost, I knew about it from the very beginning. I can't imagine what it would be like to find out about the crossdressing after being married for a length of time. I'm sure that would be extremely difficult, and the women in that position have my utmost sympathy and support. I'm also able to be supportive because my husband goes out of his way to be supportive of me every day. He is, without a doubt, the most patient, caring, just, kind, sweet, sensitive, loyal, decent, loving person I have ever known. The gift of having him in my life is one I can never repay. In a way, I feel that by trying to be supportive to other wives and SO's, I'm giving a little something back to him, by trying to make life a little easier for other CDers, and the women they're involved with.
For information about the TGSO1 mailing list, which provides support to the genetic female partners of folks all along the transgendered spectrum, click on the TGSO mailing list link below:
